Pet loss Help
"Grieving and Mourning the Life of your Best Friend
Why do we feel this way when our pets die?
Shock and disbelief |
It's okay to cry! |
Helplessness
Feeling lonely |
A sense of guilt
|
Physical symptoms |
Relief |
How do our other pets cope? |
Relief
Why do we feel this way when our pets die?
When a pet who has shared a large part of our life dies, we experience grief, which is one of the strongest human emotions. Grief is a natural response to bereavement, but the emotions we feel can leave us feeling distraught and devastated.
How we understand and handle our emotions will determine whether the loss of our beloved companion will completely overwhelm us, or whether we will somehow find the ability to cope.
There are several steps in the grieving process, encompassing many emotional, mental and physical states.
Some people struggle terribly whilst others are more accepting, particularly those among us who have nursed ill pets prior to their deaths.
Sadly, grief is not just a temporary state of mind - it is an entire process that has many variations, some of us recover quite quickly others among us done, in fact many people take the pain with them to their graves.
Here’s a list of some of the steps we encounter along the way of coming to terms with losing our best friend.
Shock and disbelief
Shock is the first reaction to the news of the death of a loved pet, particularly if that death is sudden. I know when the vet told me Poppie had died I felt my knees buckle underneath me in total disbelief.
It's okay to cry!
At this point, we are unable to hold in the intense emotion that our pet has died and crying is a perfectly natural release emotion. Crying is normal and it happens to everyone - it's okay to feel emotionally devastated.
As a result, dogs are walking around with grades two, three and four periodontal disease.
It is almost the norm, for dog owners to accept the fact that their dogs have smelly breaths and horrible yellowish brown looking teeth, and they don't give a second thought to their pets' pain and suffering
When a pet passes away almost everyone feels an intense sense of loss and separation due to the fact that our loved one is no longer alive. Memories of the pleasure and friendship that we shared with our pet tend to pre-occupy our minds and nothing seems to give us comfort or solace.
Often people fear that they may be going "crazy" with grief, but again this is normal and all part of the healing and recovery process. Now is the time to reach out to our friends and family, it might not be easy but is important to keep trying.
Feeling lonely
Feeling low and lonely is all part of the grieving process.
These are particularly common symptoms with older people when their pet has been their sole companion for many years. However, many younger people leading busy lives still experience feeling low and lonely even when they have the support of family and friends.
A sense of guilt
When we have just lost our best friend, we often take on the blame for what has happened even when it was completely out of our control. I know because I did then when Poppie died of a sudden heart attack while being groomed.
She was actually running up and down the stairs and playing only minutes before I checked her in with the groomer; so so many more self blaming thoughts which I still think of most days such as:
- Why did I take her to a professional groomer instead of doing her myself?
- If I only had been there! If I had stayed at the groomers with her would she still be alive today
- If I had taken her to the vet more often would he have picked up her heart murmur was getting worse - despite the fact that last time we saw our vet he said Poppie's murmur was one she would die with, not because of
Physical symptoms
The pressures of coping with bereavement whilst still coping with our daily lives may sometimes show up in our bodies as:
- tension
- headaches
- general aches and pains
- lack of energy or lethargy
Relief
Many of us closely involved with a pet that was ill for some time before its passing feel a sense of relief that their loved one is no longer suffering and in pain.
We remember this feeling vividly when Khan, our Shih Tzu (who my Mum and I used to affectionately call our "old man") was so ill with cancer that our vet recommended his time had come to pass over.
Click here to read the comforting sympathy card our vet sent us after Poppie went to Rainbow Bridge.
My mum and I still read this poem to find peace and solace when we think ofPoppie and whenever one of our friends losses a pet we always share it - I hope you will too.
Recovering
As with losing a human family member it does help if we can share our memories with others by talking about the wonderful memories our pet leaves with us.
Some of us like to keep our pets close by and burry them our gardens and plant a pretty flower or shrub in their memory.
Others chose to have their pets cremated, and chose an attractive urn to display and honour their pets with.
How do our other pets cope?
It is important to remember that our other family pets may be affected. Not only by the fact they too are missing their best friend but also, because our pets are incredibly sensitive at picking up on their family's emotions.
With our support they too will recover, and we need to be mindful of some of the sign and symptoms to look for which will tell us our other pets are grieving:
- They may seek out and stay in the favourite spot of their missing friend, patiently waiting for their return
- Some animals search for days trying to find their friend
- They may become confused
- Loss of appetite
- They may become lethargic or listless
Helping our family and friends through the grieving process
Many of us find it difficult to grieve in today's busy society, but we can grow as human beings if we are able to grieve fully.
As supportive friends we can help our friends and family members start picking up the threads of enjoying life again by being:
- patient and non-judgmental
- aware that our friend or family member is gradually working their way through the normal grieving process
- caring, even if we don't see it as such, our friend or family member has suffered a deep loss
- ready to listen when our friend or family member repeats the same old stories about their pet over and over again – this is such a vital step towards their grieving recovery
This article and information forms part of the Carole's Doggie World Holistic Library and is presented for informational purposes only.The information is not intended to be a substitute for visits to your local vet. Instead, the content offers the reader information researched and written by Carole Curtis for www.carolesdoggieworld.com
This article and information forms part of the Carole's Doggie World Holistic Library and is presented for informational purposes only.The information is not intended to be a substitute for visits to your local vet. Instead, the content offers the reader information researched and written by Carole Curtis for www.carolesdoggieworld.com